What to do when others are negative about your career or business goals

Hi! I'm Bec Sands, and I help professional women pivot to a career or business they love.

Today, I’m discussing what to do when others are negative about your career or business goals.

This is something that my clients have experienced regularly, and I have as well.

I find that people won’t necessarily come right out and say that they think I’m making a mistake, but they genuinely are confused by what I’m doing and just don’t get it.

It’s understandable, because we’re taught in society from a young age that the “traditional” career is the path to success, fulfilment, and financial stability and should be desired above all else.

However, it’s just not the case in today’s world anymore and I think that COVID has highlighted and accelerated this during 2020. Which is certainly a silver lining for many people who previously may have been way too comfortable in their careers to follow that undeniable pull towards the thing that they’ve always wanted to do. The thing that will ultimately bring them closer to what they value in life.

Often there’s a catalyst that’s needed to get out of the comfort zone that is a career and do the thing in the world that you truly want to do.

My catalyst was my wedding in June 2019. I’d spent seven years building businesses on the side, including a lifestyle blog and then studying coaching, online business and then working with clients after hours.

I knew it brought me the joy, purpose and fulfilment I desired but it was incredibly tough for me to walk away from a six-figure “stable” income, all of my colleagues and friends in the industry I worked in, and the perks that come from having a corporate career. Such as the identity I’d built with it as a professional, winning an industry award and speaking at conferences. I knew that I still wanted more and that my corporate career couldn’t give this to me, but my entire network were corporates who believed in climbing the ladder as the epitome of success.

And that totally IS success for many people. The fact that women in Australia STILL don’t earn the same amount of money as men for doing exactly the same jobs doesn’t sit well with me. Not only that but we’re further disadvantaged by often being the primary caretakers for children through want or need which means that often we take time out from our careers – less money in the bank and in our superannuation accounts.

Having a business can provide different options for women and create greater wealth and abundance than a career. I am shortly launching my new online course, Online Consulting Kickstart, which is for professional women to take their existing expertise and start service-based online businesses.

This is something that I’ve done successfully myself and replaced my corporate income, and I’m passionate about helping others do the same. It will be launching in February 2021 and I will have an early-bird offer shortly. Make sure you jump on my email list at becsands.com to find out more (link in bio), or DM me for details. I can’t wait to help you get started with your business in 2021!

Now, here’s my tips about what to do when others are negative about your career.

1.      Know that everyone has opinions, but most of them are crap.

Hopefully that got your attention! Yes, everyone has opinions, but the majority of them are based on that person’s experiences, self-limiting beliefs, and perceptions about the world.

Which are not yours! I’ve found that in business, I’ve had to unravel many of the beliefs I learnt from my education and the corporate world and reframe those beliefs into something that serves me. Remember, there’s no one ‘truth’ to most things – there’s only perceptions.

Let me give you an example. A client of mine who is keen to start her own consulting business went and spoke with a couple of people in the industry who had done it prior. However, rather than getting the encouragement she was seeking, they told her about the negative experiences they’d been through in their businesses and basically discouraged her from doing it too. The fact is, that whatever YOU’RE mindset is, you’re going to bring that into anything you’re doing – whether that’s a career or business. Which brings me to point two.

2.      Work on your OWN mindset first.

I bought my first brand new car about five years ago – a Subaru Forrester. We still have it and still love it. When we were shopping around for it, literally ALL I saw were Subaru Forresters EVERYWHERE. I’d truly never noticed before how many of them there are on the roads.

The message here? What you’re looking for is what you see and experience. If you’re expecting negativity that’s what you’ll see and hear. If you’re expecting positive stories, THAT’S what you’ll see and hear.

3.      Take the power into your own hands.

Surround yourself with positive messages from people who have walked the path before you. This isn’t to say you should close your mind to all of the possible outcomes and be wilfully ignorant. Most of us focus SO much on the negative outcomes that could potentially occur that we don’t even get started in the first place.

I want you to be completely aware of all of the possibilities that could happen, negative AND positive, then create a plan that takes you towards the best outcomes. What you focus on, grows and what you measure improves.

In practical terms, this means surrounding yourself with people who have created success for themselves – including those who have done the very thing you want to do. If you don’t personally know these people, that’s totally fine – listen to their podcasts, read their books, take their courses, connect with them on social media. Completely immerse yourself in what you DO want – not what you don’t.

4.      Listen to advice with a discerning ear.

Has the person giving you the advice done the thing that you want to do? If not, thank them for their advice and move on.

The fact is, advice isn’t always coming from a completely unbiased place. Often, those closest to you are trying to keep you safe and they want what’s “best” for you. The only way they know to do that is for you to stay in your comfort zone. Which is NOT a safe place at all. It’s a place of unfulfillment, dissatisfaction and stagnation. It’s a place where dreams go to die. Comfort is actually often the most dangerous place because it’s the hardest place to get out of. When you’re uncomfortable, it’s so much easier to take calculated risks and make changes to step outside of your comfort zone because you’re already in the fire, so to speak.

Others may be giving you advice from a place of fear or they themselves may have unrealised dreams that they are not pursuing, and are reflecting back to you what they’ve been telling themselves about their own dreams.

And finally, if you don’t feel like the advice you’re receiving is coming from a place with your best interests at heart, for example if the person has their own agenda and is trying to manipulate you in some way, then definitely don’t take that advice.  

Thank you so much for watching. Visit becsands.com and sign up to my free weekly emails for more inspiration and resources on your next career pivot, and if you enjoyed this video I’d love it if you could share it with a friend.